Living My Dharma: The Art of Listening and Bearing Witness

Lex Enrico Santi, LCSW, MFA

What is Dharma?

Dharma is a concept deeply embedded in Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism, often translated as "duty," "righteousness," or "the path." But it is more than just a job or a moral guideline—it is the unfolding of one’s true nature in alignment with the greater harmony of the world. As Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita, "It is better to live your own dharma imperfectly than to live another’s well." Dharma is not about choosing the right profession or following a set path—it is about embodying your deepest truth in whatever you do.

The Roots of My Dharma

For as long as I can remember, my sense of worth has been intertwined with supporting and working with others. As a shy kid, I used my ability to empathize and connect as a survival mechanism, a way to navigate social spaces and keep myself safe. One moment in high school stands out: a school bully, convinced that I had been tormenting him in private, confronted me in anger, ready to fight. Instead of reacting defensively, I met him with curiosity and understanding. In a short period of time, his anger dissipated as he connected with me emotionally, realizing I was not the person he had assumed. That moment revealed to me something fundamental: that seeing and hearing another person—truly recognizing them—could dissolve barriers and change the course of interactions.

Service as a Way of Being

This ability to connect with others evolved into a deep-seated calling. From leading service organizations as an undergraduate to joining the Peace Corps and working with street children, my Dharma has always manifested in showing up for others. Whether in leadership, international service, or education, my life has been marked by an unwavering commitment to helping people feel seen and heard.

Yet, my Dharma has not always been about direct service. It has also been about bearing witness. When I pursued my Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing, I found myself engaged in another form of connection—storytelling. Writing became a way to explore what it means to be human, to navigate suffering, and to bridge the gap between lived experiences. It was not just about personal expression; it was about capturing the raw truths of life and reflecting them back to the world.

The Dharma of Listening: Our Stories Literary Journal

Before publishing short story collections or writing extensively myself, I served as the editor-in-chief of Our Stories Literary Journal from approximately 2005 to 2015. This project was more than just a literary journal; it was an act of radical listening. Our core mission was simple yet profound: every writer who submitted a piece—whether accepted or rejected—would receive a response. We would provide them with either a basic critique or, for some, an extensive page-by-page review.

This commitment to response was not just an editorial practice; it was an acknowledgment of the inherent worth of each person's story. It was a holistic understanding of what it means to be heard. Writing is an act of vulnerability. When someone sends their words into the world, they are asking to be seen. Our Stories ensured that no voice went unheard, no effort went unrecognized.

Dharma as Bearing Witness

Now, as a therapist, I see my work as a continuation of that same Dharma—the Dharma of listening. Sitting with someone as they unravel their story, as they articulate their pain, their confusion, their longing, I recognize that the most powerful thing I can offer is my presence. I don’t solve their problems. I don’t impose solutions. I bear witness. I hear them. And that act alone has the power to transform.

Whether I am reviewing a short story, listening to a client, or supporting a student, my Dharma remains the same: to be present, to listen deeply, and to acknowledge the truth of another’s experience.

Dharma is Not What You Do, But How You Do It

It is a misconception that Dharma is about finding the "right" career or external path. Dharma is about the way you show up in the world. Someone can live Dharmically as a teacher, an artist, a parent, a business owner—as long as they are acting from a place of authenticity and alignment.

The Bhagavad Gita teaches that action without attachment is the key to Dharma. It is not about striving for perfection or recognition; it is about surrendering to the work itself, fully engaging in the present moment. My time in the Peace Corps, my years of writing and editing, my work as a therapist—all of it has been part of my Dharma because it has been done from a place of service, of deep listening, of honoring the humanity in others.

Living in Alignment with Dharma

Looking back, I see the thread of Dharma running through every stage of my life. It was there in the way I diffused conflict as a shy high school student. It was there in my time spent working with vulnerable children on the streets. It was there in the hours I spent reading, critiquing, and responding to emerging writers. It is here now, in my work as a therapist, as I sit with people in their most vulnerable moments.

Dharma is not something I sought out. It is something that emerged through me, a path I followed without always realizing it. And perhaps that is the true nature of Dharma—it is not something you find; it is something that reveals itself when you surrender to what has always been within you.

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." — Mahatma Gandhi